Individuals with a secure attachment style have no trouble being vulnerable with their partner. They are willing to be intimate for the sake of their relationship. These people are also comfortable with doing things on their own. They don’t need to be constantly in the company of their partner. Being secure in themselves and their relationship allows their partner to feel like they are not being confined in the relationship.

Some people have a hard time expressing their feelings. Even if you have a secure attachment style this can be challenging. Yet you productively share your emotions for you know the value it adds to the relationship. Communication is the backbone to a healthy relationship.

Trusting your partner is vital for a strong relationship. Jealousy can ruin the trust you have built in the relationship previously. Having the ability to trust your partner makes it easier for you and them to feel safe together.

How you view yourself and the others around you makes a difference in how you interact with those you surround yourself with. Have you ever heard you attract what you are? Negative people will attract more negativity, the opposite is true for positive people. If you are positive more and more positive events and people will come into your life.

Let’s face it, life is full of challenges. The trick is to be resilient and bounce back after a setback. Some of your other attachment styles, when faced with challenges, have a hard time getting over it. But a secure attachment style is usually good at this.

Like all things in life, there has to be balance, and setting healthy boundaries is creating a balance. Without it, you can give too much of yourself or allow others to take it without thinking of the consequences.

As with most attachment styles, secure attachment is developed mostly during childhood. Having a consistent home life with healthy parents helps a child grow into a healthy adult.

I am a believer that children need boundaries as well as emotional support. If you grow up with parents who have given you the support you needed while growing up you probably have a good self-image and are secure in who you are. For the most part, if you don’t get validation from a parent or parent figure in your life you seek it in other ways which aren’t always healthy.

We have looked at challenges in life earlier, to deal with them you have had to learn how to cope in difficult situations.

Trees that grow in the open without protection grow while the wind blows and there are dry season. They are strong and resilient; they learn to handle the stressors of life.

Trees that grow protected from wind, always receive water, while they are bigger and more beautiful and less resilient. When the torrent of life comes their branches break. The way you handle stress has to do with how much you were protected from it as a child.

There comes a time when you have to take responsibility for your development. Yes, the way you grow up has a lot to do with how you are as an adult, but making excuses for how you grow up won’t change a thing. You have to pull up your socks and make a choice to change yourself to have self-worth and self-efficacy.

Watching the drama unfold on a screen is entertaining, yet when it takes place in our own lives it is not so fun. Being part of a relationship that leaves you feeling satisfied is something that you can expect when you are part of a relationship centered around being secure individuals.

Skills are something you acquire during your life and being a secure attachment gives you the best chance of having the skills to handle conflict. There are always improvements that can be made. You are less likely to blame, throw a pity party, or withdraw.

Being emotionally intimate allows you to become closer with your partner. Personally to be able to open up and be vulnerable with my husband is a blessing. We get to connect on a deeper level and our relationship is stronger for it.

Because secure individuals trust and are secure in who they are, they have low levels of anxiety and jealousy. They trust themselves, and they give their best so they can be secure in their relationship.

Relationships, especially romantic relationships last longer for the relationship to be more secure. The emotional, physical, and mental needs of the couple are met within the relationship and individuals don’t have to look for other sources.

Depression and anxiety are less when it comes to secure individuals. The factors leading to these mental health problems are dealt with with good coping mechanisms before depression or anxiety can set in.

Less worry about abandonment compared to anxious individuals.

More comfortable with closeness than avoidant individuals.

More consistent behavior patterns than disorganized individuals.

There is hope. If you find yourself not relating with a secure individual’s traits there is hope. You can work on improving yourself to become a more secure person.

If you are a person that isn’t comfortable being open in conversations practice opening up a little more each time you communicate. After a while, it will no longer be as scary and you will be able to open up about deeper issues.

If allowed emotions can run ramped. Before they get out of hand find ways to center yourself. I great way is to take a couple of deep breaths. At first, I was skeptical about this, but I have been implementing this and it has helped me.

Another way is to speak positive scripture or affirmations over yourself.

Surround yourself with people who you can trust and you know you can count on. Slowly build your trust in people by rewiring how you think people are going to act by observing the right actions.

Depending on your attachment style you can either be too clingy or distant. You have to find a balance where both independence and connection are fostered.

The first step is to become aware there is a problem and work on solving it. Grow personally, and find ways to improve yourself.

If you are in a relationship, the best person to be with would be someone who trusts you and knows who they are. To be the best partner you can be work to be the same for them. A relationship is a two-way street and you give more of what you want in return.