Love, being in love like in the movies seems so romantic. Have you noticed that in the movies the couple gets together or gets married and that is where it stops? You don’t see the work that goes into the relationship to keep it alive. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy a rom-com even though I know the outcome. I also know that real-life relationships do not work that way. Not every man, or woman, is the romantic type we see in movies.

Remember, every relationship is different and you shouldn’t compare yourselves to other couples. What you can compare are certain principles that make a good relationship. Find what your relationship is based around, family, intimacy, business, achieving common goals, whatever it may be build that strong. If you aren’t married yet I would be honest about this with your partner. If you have two different goals that you want to gain from your relationship you have to consider if the relationship is going to work. On the other hand, if you are married you have to get to a place where you and your partner can work together. (This is more compatibility, but it is easier to show love to someone you are compatible with).

Love can take different forms depending on the relationship, the culture you find yourself in, and what is important to you. There are a few basics that I feel all relationships need to have.

What does love look like inside a relationship, namely a romantic relationship? Well, here are key elements that form this relationship, for instance, trust.

Without trust, a relationship cannot function. Trust is amazing at keeping a couple together, without it suspicion grows.

Another important characteristic is respect; respect should be mutual. Things to not do and do to keep respect alive: no name-calling, speak respectfully, listen respectfully, and value your partner.

Show empathy towards your partner, not sympathy. If I can explain empathy like this, it is sitting with your partner and experiencing their emotions, listening to their heart, all the while not judging them. Sympathy is feeling sorry for the other person.

A relationship without communication is no relationship at all. How did you first build your relationship? You spoke to one another, possibly about less important things, but now that your relationship has matured the conversations need to have more depth.

Allow yourself to become close to your partner, to be vulnerable with them. Intimacy is more than just the physical, it does play an important role. It is also an emotional and spiritual connection.

When you are in a relationship you are committed to that person, you do not date others while you are in the relationship. Dating relationships can still be broken, but not a marriage. A marriage is a lifelong commitment to one person and should not be taken lightly. Marriage is more than a contract, it is a covenant you make, a promise of a lifetime.

What are the components that makeup love in a relationship? Delving deeper into Sternberg’s definition of love it is Intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Intimacy is a deep connection with the other person. An understanding is formed towards your partner. When we think of intimacy we usually go to sexy time, but it is much more. There is an emotional connection that leads to the other. On a spiritual level, the closer you get to each other the stronger the connection.

Passion, also called chemistry, makes it easier to keep a relationship going. This is the physical and romantic attraction in the relationship. If you look at the time you spend in the bedroom as a married couple it is a small portion compared to the rest. You must look after this. The human body was made to desire physical passions if the desire is not fulfilled within the relationship where is it being fulfilled? I see having sexy time as a privilege. It satisfies the needs of both partners.

Commitment is not a feeling you have, it is a decision to stay with your partner for the long run. You commit each day to be faithful to each other, to show love, and always be there for your partner. It is not always easy! I don’t know of anyone that said it would be.

A balanced relationship applies all these components of love. It is not taking your relationship for granted but working on it daily. The ideal kind of love is where you can incorporate all of these components in your relationship.

We know now what love is and what is it made up of, now we are going to look at how to show love to your partner.

Love can be expressed in numerous different ways. The most popular way to explain this, according to me at least, is the five love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, acts of service, and quality time. You can have a measure of each of these love languages. Most people have a dominant one or two that they show and receive, not necessarily the same.

It is important to show your love not only through what you say but also through what you do. How you experience and give love is not static but fluid and can be adjusted according to the relationship and the setting.

A mother with her baby will experience love if you wash the dishes even if their love language is not acts of service, you need to use your insight to know when to express which love language.

Maintain the health of your relationship with verbal and non-verbal expressions of love.

Relationships are not always easy, like in the movies. Life happens and complications come. Think of it this way, two people were raised differently and now are together. You are essentially two completely different people. The way you process your thoughts and experiences is different. Why do we expect our partners to act the way we want them to? A study was done saying that a couple only starts thinking as a couple after seven to ten years of marriage. I would go as far as to say that it only happens if you give up your entitlement. Yes, keeping your individuality is important and as a couple, you should encourage one another to keep their individuality.

Support each other whenever you go through challenges. Life is not challenge-free, be this with family, finances, or personal insecurities. In these times this is when communication becomes vital. When you overcome these challenges as a couple, your relationship will have deepened.

Love is a commitment fostered through passion and intimacy and kept alive through respect, trust, and communication. Keep your love alive by implementing these components and characteristics of love in your relationship. It doesn’t have to look like everyone else's love, but it has to work for both of you. Nurture these feelings of love in your relationship and keep your love alive. There can be many challenges that will try and break you apart, but if you stand in unity you will be stronger for it.