Marriages take constant work to maintain. You don't just happen to stumble upon a healthy marriage. it takes time, commitment, and practice to obtain. Anyone can get there, you can too. It is going to take some effort and you have to be committed to put in the time. But it took time to build your marriage to where it is now, good or bad. Build it to its full glory. You deserve to have a healthy marriage. Notice I said healthy and not happy. We can't guarantee happiness, life happens and happiness is fleeting, but we can do it.

Communication is a vital part of having a successful marriage. There are skills that you can apply that will help you increase your chances of having a healthy conversation.

To have a conversation involves more than just speaking; it also requires active listening. Often, people talk to be heard without taking the time to listen to what the other person is saying. It's important to listen to understand what your partner is trying to communicate.

We don't want to go through life not sharing how we feel with our partners. People do this to protect their partner's feelings. Bur this causes resentment towards the other person. When in fact they never knew what was going on in your heart for you didn't share your feelings.

There are two main ways people tend to resolve conflict, verbal shouting match or sweep it under the mat approach. Neither of these is healthy. I am here to tell you there is another way. I encourage you to read the full article on 'how to deal with conflict'. I gained many of these skills from a couple that has been in the marriage counseling business for 30 years and I am now implementing this in my marriage.

Trust is the cornerstone of a marriage and without it, a marriage is essentially broken. When you got married you gave your life to the other person, the good, bad, and the ugly. You also got all of them. Once trust has been broken you have to work on rebuilding this trust again. Like in the being of your relationship, you had to work to earn your partner's trust, you will have to work to rebuild it too. The action that correlates with what we say is a good start.

He is honest and open with what is going on in your life and heart. Just because you live together doesn't automatically mean that your partner knows what is going on. If you are going through a stressful time at work share that. Trying to protect each other does the opposite.

If you say that you are going to do something or be somewhere make sure that you follow through. Not only do you break trust but you also are reaffirming that negative thoughts of you in your partner's mind.

There are times when the chasm of brokenness has become so deep that you can't see a way out. Seeing a professional can help you to give you guidelines on how to build the bridge of trust again.

Intentionally spending time with each other fosters feelings of care and appreciation. If you don't spend time together you aren't building your relationship and then you are essentially roommates with benefits. Think back on when your relationship just started, you made it a point to spend time together so that you could get to know each other better. That needs to carry on now that you are married. You will never exhaust what there is to learn about each other. Here are a few ideas that you can implement to start spending quality time together.

Decide on a time that you are going to go out, just the two of you, and have a date. This can to weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly. Focus on each other when you are on the date. If that means putting your phone away or leaving the worries of work behind that is what you have to do.

If there is something that the two of you both like to do then try and do these activities together. My husband and I like to go hiking and over a weekend if we can we make a point to go and hike together. On these hikes, we get to relax around each other and have meaningful conversations.

If it is possible to spend some time with each other each day it will be valuable towards your marriage. This can be a shared cup of coffee in the morning or a shared meal. Maybe it is a chore that you decide to do together like dishes after dinner. The point isn't what you do, it is that you do it. The focus is to spend time together and focus on each other.

Finances are a major topic when it comes to conflicts. This can be because of the lack of money, mismanagement, or overspending on non-essential items. The good news is there are practical ways to overcome this financial hurdle in your marriage. It is important, to be honest with each other and yourself when you are working on this area of your marriage.

Sit down and share what your financial goals are. Set up individual goals and combined goals. making sure that your individual goals work together in the greater plan.

Knowing where your money goes will help. Be honest with each other about what you spend your money on and how much. There might be certain things that can be cut out of your budget that can make space for more important things. Insurance, life policies, and retirement provisions are all good things to add if possible.

When my husband and I were just married we went on a marriage camp. Our marriage was in a good place and we didn't feel that we needed help. We went because we saw the value in maintaining a healthy marriage. On that camp, we learned so much and are implementing many of the tools gained there daily. To get help is a sign of strength. We can't know everything, and in relationships, we don't know what we don't know. There is a stigma that your marriage has to be so far gone before you get help, but if possible, before there is trouble seek help. Even if it is through reading a book or taking a course.

It is easy to see the faults of your partner and yet not see your own. This reminds me of the parable in the Bible that says remove the plank from your eye before you help remove the splinter from your brother's eye.

We have to look at what we bring to the relationship both good and bad. We are all human and aren't perfect. Work on your attitude and response to a situation; search where you might not be acting correctly. Self-improvement can also inspire your spouse to improve themselves, but that shouldn't be our motive to do it. Qualities such as practicing empathy, showing forgiveness and self-care are good for you and your marriage.

For many people, romance does not come naturally. At the start of a relationship, when infatuation is still high, romantic gestures come more easily. After that, it takes work to keep the romance alive in a relationship.

The easiest way to show romantic gestures is to know what your partner's love language is. If it is gifts, flowers or chocolate will do. On the other hand, if their love language is acts of service, doing the dishes will show them that you love them. You have to find what works for you in your relationship.

Being intimate automatically builds the bond between you. It should not be wham-bam-thank-you-ma-ma. There is place for that. If the spark has left, try adding foreplay or going through the day to add to the anticipation of getting together. Tell your partner what you like and maybe something that you would like to try.

This is done by spending time together and having conversations about your relationship. Share your dreams and the hopes that you have for the future. Whatever it is that will bring you back to the place where you once were.

Every marriage faces its fair share of challenges. It is not always smooth sailing, but if you work together as a team you will get through it. Different seasons of life come of come and go but your marriage needs to stay. Careers might change, but when you come home the safety net of your partner should be there to catch you.

Parenthood is a massive change in your relationship. Suddenly it isn't only two of you, there is another human demanding attention. Marriage comes before kids. When all the children are out of the house, you still have each other. Many people forget about this and when the kids are grown up there isn't a marriage left. This is why older couples get divorced because they forgot to work on them while the kids were still around.

If we look at the differences between you the first is obvious, male and female. How we are made is different, physically and mentally. The chemical balance in our brains is not the same. How we process things differs. And this is between males and females, not even looking at individuals. Respect that everyone is different. I am guessing that their individuality is what attracted you to them in the first place. You cannot change your partner, you can only change yourself.

Respect the boundaries that have been set in your relationship. This can be something like, not touching the other's nose or giving them alone time to recharge. By honoring these boundaries we tell our partners that we respect them, love them, and, that they mean something to us.

Marriage requires ongoing effort. You are never going to 'arrive' at the perfect marriage. The goal is to strive for a better marriage daily and work on it daily. You committed the alter and you should live that out in your marriage. Be dedicated to each other. Adapt the mindset of growth, growing as a better person, and growing towards each other. There is always hope to strengthen your relationship. Is it going to take time? Where you are now didn't just happen it also took time. Commit to work as a team to work on your marriage.