Talk n Listen
Communication In A Relationship.
Charisse Swart
7 Tips For Improving Communication In A Marriage:
Improved communication in your relationship is vital for a full and vibrant marriage. Communication helps establish understanding between partners which in turn creates trust. All of these are important to having a strong relationship. Without these intimacy, emotional and physical, dies down. Here are some tips I want to discuss with you. Things I have learned from my own marriage and what I have learned from veterans in relationship coaching.
1. Active Listening:
Have you ever been in a conversation and at the end of it you felt that you said nothing even though you did speak? Being an introvert myself it is easy for others to talk over me. But it does not matter if the other person chips in or not, if they have not actively been listening to you then this feeling remains. Practice being an active listener yourself. Avoid interrupting your partner when they speak and show genuine interest in what they are saying. Active listening is about understanding what they are saying and allowing them time to say what they have to say. Be present in the moment and worry about other things later.
2. Express Yourself:
The last thing you want is not to live out who you are in your relationship. Be honest and open with your partner about who you are, about your feelings, about your thoughts, and your needs. It can be difficult sometimes. What makes expressing yourself hard is if you are a people pleaser and don’t want to disappoint anyone. Bottling up your feelings is not healthy. One of two things will happen if not both of them: you will start building a wall around your heart or your emotions will explode. You might become passive-aggressive in the way you treat your partner. This is not the way to treat the one that you love.
When you share your feelings do so in a calm manner and use your words respectfully. I would think at this stage in our lives we would know about it, but how to communicate has not been introduced into the school syllabus.
3. Use "I" Statements:
I’m sure you have heard of this before, use ‘I’ statements. For example, say "I feel hurt when..." instead of "You always..." The question is why is this important? Well, because when you use ‘you’ statements you accuse your partners rather than telling them your feelings. When you blame them for how you feel the natural response is to become defensive. They want to protect themselves from getting hurt. We all have done this at some stage in our lives. When we use the ‘I’ statement instead we keep the mood calm and the conversation can continue without raised tension.
4. Empathy and Understanding:
Validating your partner's feelings through showing empathy towards them. Try and see things from their perspective. Their feelings are as important as yours. To empathize with your partner you can negate conflict situations, this will help strengthen the bond the two of you share. Everything we do in a relationship will either bring us closer to each other or take us further from each other.
5. Set Aside Quality Time:
Communication can not happen if you are not spending time together. Prioritize spending quality time with your partner. Life can get very busy with making a living and taking care of the house and kids running around. We are expected to have everything perfect, just look at Instagram posts. But are you taking the time to work on your marriage? In my opinion, relationships are divided into importance in this order: marriage, then children, then parents, and then siblings. Let your actions illustrate that marriage is the number one relationship.
Put the TV off and phones away and have a deep open conversation. Take this time to discuss your dreams and goals and how your heart is doing.
6. Practice Patience:
As with any relationship communication takes time and effort, and none more than in marriage. When I first met my husband communication was effortless, but then the infatuation wore off. Be patient with each other as you go through the struggles and adventures of life. Navigating challenges can be tough when you are single and only have to consider yourself. Now you have your partner’s feelings to consider too. The only way to improve your communication and patience with one another is if you keep working on the skill. This helps avoid conflict situations.
I take a while to formulate my thoughts verbally so my husband has to have patience with me. If he tries to speed things up I get more flustered and the conversation will take longer. Patience is key in your relationship and every other relationship too.
7. Get Outside Reinforcements:
If you have tried putting all these skills together and are still having trouble in your relationship, you might want to consider getting help. Ask your local church if they have counselors. Go and see a couples therapist.
Maybe you are not ready to take your communication troubles to some stranger. Here are some tools that I think can help you.
Having some outside input can be valuable and offer effective communication advice. In saying this be open and honest. I don’t know if you watched the movie, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but there they go and see someone, but keep their true feelings bottled up inside.
Remember, to have effective communication takes the implementation of skills. The way you improve is to learn over time. Prioritize being open and honest with each other. Communicate with each other respectfully. You can strengthen your marriage bond and navigate challenges more effectively when you add these skills to your relationship artillery. It would make it much easier if we were taught this in school or by our parents, but the sad truth is that so few people know how to communicate properly. Once you know how you can pass this on to others, be it your kids or friends and family.
Hi, I am Charisse Swart
Greetings, lovely readers! I am delighted to connect with you through the shared spaces of our digital world. As a dedicated homemaker, my days are woven with the threads of familial love, nurturing, and the subtle art of creating a haven within the walls of our humble abode.
While I occasionally attempt to don the cloak of logic, my dear husband often lovingly nudges me back to the realm of my true nature - that of a relational soul. You see, I possess a heart that thrives on connections, cherishing the intricate tapestry of relationships that grace our lives.
My journey is fueled by an unwavering passion for fostering flourishing bonds between people. There's an innate joy that blooms within me when I witness the beauty of heartfelt connections, the kind that endure the tests of time and adversity.
Yet, amidst the beauty, there exists a poignant ache within me when I see marriages falter, falling short of their boundless potential. It is this very longing for the realization of every relationship's full splendor that propels me forward, seeking understanding, insight, and perhaps, a touch of wisdom to share along the way.
Thank you for joining me on this adventure. May our shared exploration illuminate the path toward deeper understanding, compassion, and the boundless possibilities that lie within the embrace of genuine relationships.
