Marriage is a partnership between two individuals. This means that they are committed to one another. They share their life; that is the beauty of marriage. You always have a person there that you can share your life with. You can do life together.

I remember before I was married I didn't mind going out to places alone. Now that I am married I find it hard and awkward to do it alone, as if people are looking at me for not being with my husband. We have shared experiences that are memories that we build together. All the challenges and joys that we go through, we do not have to go through them alone. There is always your special human by your side. Marriage is a team sport and we have to play it like one.

What is the commitment of marriage? As the traditional vows go, “Till death do us part,” marriage is a lifelong commitment. Before you get married, if you are not yet, make sure that you are very sure that you can spend the rest of your life with this person. I love being married and think it is such a blessing and hope that everyone can get to experience the joy. Yet, it isn’t something to take lightly. Before we got married we did a per-marital course that helped us talk about things that most couples don’t until they are married and need to. Like how are chores and finances going to look like? Many people do not ask these and other essential questions.

Being married means that you are committed to each other through thick and thin. You are also committed to support, love, and cherish each other.

It is much easier to be married if you have shared aspirations. Otherwise, it is like two horses pulling a carriage in different directions. You are not going to get far. If one of your goals is stronger than the others you will pull in that direction. But at the cost of your partner and you will be tired because you had to work so hard. The joy of achieving the goal will not be as fulfilling. You want to share this with your partner. Having goals that are aligned makes life easier. The same goes for values. Align your lives with the same common goals and objectives in life. Then both of you will feel like you have achieved something and not missed out on what you had to do in life.

I view communication as one of the most essential tools in a marriage. Having a deep conversation is not as common as you would think and if you and your spouse can have these conversations consider yourselves fortunate. Communication allows partners to share their feelings, needs, and concerns. We want to create an environment where this can happen openly and without judgment.

Trust is the foundation of a strong marriage. Trust is built over time and should not be taken for granted. It can easily be broken, so please respect the trust that you have in your relationship. Trust is built through being honest with each other, even about difficult things. Be a reliable partner. If you say you are going to do something, keep your commitment. Very importantly, keep the fidelity of your partner. In my opinion, I don’t think there is anything that can break trust like infidelity. I don’t know if I could trust someone again if they did that to me. A marriage bed is sacred, keep it that way.

Being respectful towards each other is vital. It is mutual respect and not one-sided. Respect is about honoring each other's opinions, not necessarily agreeing with them. The boundaries that you set up in your relationship should not be overstepped. If there is something that you are not happy with that your partner does to you and you haven’t set up those boundaries, do it. Then reinforce that your partner has to respect those boundaries, and vice versa.

Respect allows each other to still keep their individuality. You are a team but still have different roles to play in your marriage and that has to be respected.

The first thing that we think of when we hear the word intimacy is physical intimacy done in the bedroom. There is much more to it than that. For women especially, if we do not get emotional intimacy we are not motivated to have physical intimacy. Having a deep conversation, giving a compliment without expectation, and listening will inspire physical intimacy.

Having a spiritual connection with someone is feeling overwhelmed with a sense of safety in their presence.

All of these, emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy, are linked and they help to form a deep bond. Keeping all three intimacies in balance will also strengthen your marriage.

Compromising your own needs and wants for the sake of your partner. You do things because you love them and want the best for them even if it means sacrificing what you want. The happiness of your partner is important to you and it is a joy to offer up your desires. You do this not only for your partner but for the needs of your relationship.

Create a supportive environment, a place where your partner feels they can be themselves. Be supportive of each other by encouraging and uplifting each other. Marriage is a place where you should go to find support in times of uncertainty. Offer guidance to your partner, but be careful not to be judgy or pushy. When your partner needs help, be there to assist them with their needs.

Similar to support, the growth and development of an individual is important. It is much easier to succeed at something when you know that your partner is supporting you. As mentioned earlier, a marriage is a partnership between two individuals. As an individual, you will want to give the best version of yourself to your partner. Encourage your partner to invest in themselves, for them, and your relationship.

I realize that having children is not on everyone's list, but for most couples it is. Skip if this does not apply to you. From a little girl having children has been one of my biggest dreams. But it is also a major responsibility. You have to raise this human and make sure that you give them the best you can. Luckily, you have a partner who can help you with this. The care of children is to be shared. Nurturing and loving children is both the responsibility of the mother and the father.

Life is ever-changing and your relationship needs to be able to adapt to your surroundings. This means that the foundations of your marriage have to be strong to support these changes. Your marriage stays strong, just the way you handle challenges is adapted to suit the situation.

A marriage is not a contract that you sign. There is a contract but it is much more. It is a covenant. A covenant is an agreement that you make. The vows that you promised each other at the altar form part of this covenant. And you did this in the presence of your family and friends and God.

The contract is there on the legal side of things, yet it is the covenant, the promise, that you made to each other that you need to take seriously.

In marriage, you have the opportunity to make lasting memories. All the experiences of life you have your spouse to share with you. Create memories. Laugh together. Be each other's best friend.