Many people will say that the most important relationship is the spouse or their children. I would like to inform you, and I might be stepping on some toes here, that your children should not be your number one relationship it has to be your spouse.

If you said that your spouse is the most important relationship in your life do your actions back it up? The actions that we take are the thing that truly tests the heart. There are many big talkers, but it means nothing if you don’t see the fruits in their lives.

Investing in your relationship is a crucial part of sustaining a relationship for the long term. It brings meaning and fulfills your life.

Having a healthy relationship with yourself is vital to healthy relationships with other people.

If you do not accept yourself in the back of your mind you will always be thinking about how others will accept you. Invest in self-reflection and self-acceptance. These lay the groundwork for having a connection with others. When you understand your strengths weaknesses and values it is easier to navigate relationships. You can be confident in who you are and not be reliant on someone else to give you your identity.

Prioritizing self-care and well-being by taking time for self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and relaxation, demonstrates self-love and self-respect. By honoring your body you cultivate resilience, inner peace, and a sense of balance that enhances your overall quality of life.

If you are a people pleaser like I am it is always tempting to give all you have to give. When you truly want to invest in your relationships with your partner you have to set certain boundaries so that your tank can remain full and you can keep giving. This is not a selfish thing, it is there to protect yourself and in the end them too. Later when you are empty you will resent them for the part they played.

Learn to say no. Learn that it is okay to have boundaries to protect yourself, and set limits on your time and energy.

Prioritize activities that fill your tank and are valuable to you. When you are full you can give to others freely.

Allow your partner to have the same freedoms. Allow them to set boundaries they need to protect themselves and to do things that are a priority to them. My husband loves hunting and recently went for the weekend on a hunting trip. I support the time that he was away for it is important to him and now he has the capacity to spend quality time with me.

Relationships take time and effort to sustain. While it is easy at the beginning of a relationship when the chemistry and passion are running high, as soon as the emotions die down changes have to be made. At this time the real investment has to be made.

Make time to have a date night. Attend marriage retreats. Read books based on bringing you and your partner closer together. Invest in your relationship.

Encourage your partner also to grow personally while you do the same. As a couple, you will thrive if you grow together and individually.

Practicing compassion and forgiveness is essential for nurturing a kind and nurturing relationship. Embracing the imperfections, both you and your partner have, treating each other with empathy and understanding allows for acceptance. When you can be free to be yourself and let go of criticism the sense of guilt cultivated brings peace, acceptance, and emotional well-being.

Talk slowly and forgive quickly. Unforgiveness, like I always say, is a bitter root in your relationship. When you and your partner come together you don’t want an unpleasant taste in your mouth from unforgiveness. Forgive each other your grievances to have a pleasant experience.

I have spoken to many people who have successful relationships and the pattern that I see in their lives when it comes to the importance of relationships is this:

Marriage comes first, when your marriage comes first the other relationships in your life work better.

Then comes your relationship with your children. Yes, they are important and take up a lot of time, especially when they are young. Your relationship with your kids comes second. They will benefit from their parents having a good marriage.

Thirdly, comes your relationship with your parents. It is special when you can have a relationship with your parents and want to spend time with them. But there has to be boundaries. I have heard of too many people who have divorced because of their parents/in-laws being TOO involved in their marriage.

Finally, you have your relationship with your siblings and close friends.

The thing to remember is that your partner always takes first place. It will look different in each season of life, but prioritize spending time with each other.

While cultivating meaningful connections with others is important, it's equally vital to prioritize the relationship you have with yourself. Then invest plenty of time to keep the bond strong between you and your partner. Do what it takes to keep this connection going. Go to marriage retreats, read books, spend quality time together, forgive quickly, and make sure that your marriage is the number one relationship in your life.